1: Kitchen counter, couch, or on top of the dryer? 2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or bad, and why? 3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed: 4: Something that never fails to make you horny: 5: Where is one place you would never have sex: 6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when: 7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny: 8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: 9: What is the fastest way to make you horny: 10: Top or bottom? 11: We were about to have sex but then ________ 12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary? 13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find: 14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you: 15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex: 16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you: 17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?] 18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: 19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had? 20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience: 21: How big is too big? 22: One sexual thing you would never do: 23: Biggest turn on? 24: Three spots that drive you insane: 25: Worst possible time to get horny: 26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans? 27: Worst sexual idea you ever had: 28: How much fapping is too much fapping: 29: Best sexual complement you ever got: 30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji: 31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut: 32: Fill in the blank: “If they ____________, we are fucking. 33: What your favorite part of your body? 34: Favorite foreplay activities: 35: Love or Sex? 36: What do you wear to bed? 37: When was the first time you masturbated? 38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? 39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? 40: Have/would you ever have sex in public? 41: Have/would you ever had a threesome? 42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? 43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school? 44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane? 45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to? 46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny? 47: Most attractive celebrity? 48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not? 49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now? 50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online? 51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny? 52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?) 53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not) 54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? 55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity? 56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? 57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see? 58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? how long have you had it?) 59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day? 60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery? 61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute? 62: Do you watch porn? 63: How small is too small? 64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? 65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything? 66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day? 67: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”? 68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? 69: If you could give yourself head, would you? 70: Booty or Boobs? 71: If you had a penis, what would you name it? 72: Have you ever been on an official date? 73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) 74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be? 75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?) 76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed? 77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina? 78: If you had a penis for a day, what are five things you would do?
Living alone leads to habits that you don’t realize are weird until you stay with someone else and have to suppress them.
I’m staying with family right now and I can’t just go “AUGH” like a peanuts character in the middle of the night just because I feel like it. I also can’t lick cooking utensils anymore because other people are gonna be eating that. And I can’t rant to my Swedish horse because I left that at home and also ranting to an inanimate object in the middle of the house would make me look insane.
I was talking to my aunt about this because she also lives alone and we agree that when you start living alone you need to start making more noises when you do things like grunting when you get up and yelling at annoying inanimate objects because you need to fill the space somehow. But when suddenly other people are around you’re now in the habit of whistling whenever you open a cabinet and people who have never lived alone don’t understand what you’re doing.
If you ever stay with somebody who lives alone for a few days and they start randomly doing squats in the middle of the kitchen and clicking their teeth or making noises at birds outside, just let them. Believe it or not those are methods of preserving sanity. Shaking the fridge and demanding it give you answers is a shield against the impeding darkness.
Why do you have an inanimate horse in the middle of the house
enkidu and gilgamesh, presumably on their way to the cedar forest to slay humbaba, after which everything was fine, a-okay even, and nothing went wrong
Inane worldbuilding minutia of the day: there is a viral dance craze in Runaway to the Stars “modern day” (approx. 2325), because what is society without a viral dance craze. It began on Martian social media and then spread to the rest of the human internet via the extranet social platform Megaforum.
It is called “The Whop.”
It takes some skill to to whop quickly without losing your balance, and videos of skilled whoppers dancing in increasingly ridiculous and inconvenient locations has plagued the human internet for years now. It has a resurgence every time a new bubble of human space discovers and spreads it.
There is also a two-person version of The Whop:
Two-person whopping is extremely popular among children, much to the dismay of their elders. If you don’t pay attention and keep time with the other party, it’s extremely easy to slap them square in the face. Video compilations of people getting injured while whopping abound. School nurses have seen many victims of the viral dance, sent in with bruises and bloodied noses after whopping too hard.
